1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,004
♪♪

2
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:08,375
[thunder]

3
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,220
Ethics, my favorite class.

4
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:23,323
That's because I'm
so darn ethical--

5
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,325
not.

6
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,695
It's because it's easy, and
Mrs. Teasedale loves me.

7
00:00:28,754 --> 00:00:31,090
Ha, I could get an
A in my sleep.

8
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,733
Guess what?

9
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,002
Mrs. Teasedale
just won the lottery.

10
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:39,673
She quit Cal U, and she's flying
to Bora Bora with the soccer coach.

11
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,242
Well, good for her.
She deserves it.

12
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,610
Yeah, and so does he.

13
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,712
The soccer team's had
a heckuva season.

14
00:00:45,987 --> 00:00:47,012
Forget about that.

15
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:48,538
Does anybody know who
her replacement is?

16
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,751
Professor Hemmings?
[groans]

17
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:51,919
Oh, man, Hemmings?

18
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,620
The guy eats freshmen for lunch.

19
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,589
They call him Hannibal Lecturer.

20
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,194
He is a world-renowned
scholar and author.

21
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,795
The Supreme Court consults him.

22
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,231
- He's a genius.
- Yeah, but he's hard.

23
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,800
- He's brutal.
- He's impossible.

24
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,306
He's here.

25
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,237
[thunder]

26
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,710
Wow, I hope this doesn't happen
every time he walks in the room.

27
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:23,016
♪ <i>I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow,</i> ♪

28
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:26,453
♪ <i>and it's all up to
me how far I go</i> ♪

29
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♪ <i>I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow</i> ♪

30
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,026
♪ <i>I've never seen
such a view before,</i> ♪

31
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:36,029
♪ <i>a new world before my eyes</i> ♪

32
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♪ <i>So much for me to explore</i> ♪

33
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,602
♪ <i>It's where my future lies</i> ♪

34
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,872
♪ <i>Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow</i> ♪

35
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,908
♪ <i>From here, the future
looks bright for me</i> ♪

36
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,211
♪ <i>And it's all up to
me how far I go</i> ♪

37
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,381
♪ <i>It's my time to break away</i> ♪

38
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:58,752
♪ <i>I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today</i> ♪

39
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,393
Good morning, ladies
and gentlemen.

40
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:09,263
My name is Professor
Arthur Hemmings,

41
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,298
and I have only two rules.

42
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,699
Excuse me, Professor?

43
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,935
May I say on behalf
of the whole class

44
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,237
that we are honored to
have you as our teacher?

45
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,006
No, you may not.

46
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,310
Rule number one,

47
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,113
never speak unless recognized.

48
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:29,149
Rule number two,
if you do speak,

49
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,385
say something interesting.

50
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:36,056
Boy, what do you say we chip in
and buy him some lottery tickets?

51
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,426
Ethics,

52
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,497
every day of your life you
make ethical decisions.

53
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:48,135
My job is to make you aware of
the consequences of those decisions.

54
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,772
Imagine, for example, you work
for a dress designer.

55
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:57,077
You have an opportunity to appropriate
a rival company's hot new idea.

56
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:58,845
What would you do?

57
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,147
Me?

58
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,015
Design dresses?

59
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,752
No way.

60
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:09,389
Fine, you work for a company
more suited to your abilities.

61
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,491
You haul manure.

62
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,063
Would you steal the idea?

63
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,465
Well, what for?

64
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,601
How many ways are there
to haul manure?

65
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,236
Well, with your gift
for analytical thought,

66
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,073
I'm sure one
day you'll find out.

67
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,675
What about you, young lady?

68
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,877
- Is it ethical?
- Me?

69
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,815
Um, I'm an actress, so ethics
will never apply to me.

70
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,218
Oh, you're an actress?

71
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,486
Yes, I am.

72
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,688
Well, next time, could
you act as if you have

73
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:46,560
the flimsiest shred of intellect
in that tiny thespian head?

74
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,197
Come on, people.

75
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,533
Is there no one in the class
capable of extemporaneous thought?

76
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:57,871
The question simply is, would
you or would you not steal the idea?

77
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,306
Would I get a promotion?

78
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:03,710
Vice presidency, six-figure
salary, stock options.

79
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,879
You sold me.
I'd steal it.

80
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,582
Are you quite sure about that?

81
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,217
What do you mean?

82
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:15,422
Well, for instance, uh, Machiavelli
probably would have stolen the idea,

83
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,125
lied about it, and
then covered it up.

84
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:21,428
But he would have had a
brilliant justification for it.

85
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,998
You do know who Machiavelli
was, don't you?

86
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,068
Is he Senator Bob Packwood's
attorney?

87
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,374
This is pathetic.

88
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:37,177
I want every other
row to stand up.

89
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,014
Now, take a good look around.

90
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,151
This is how many people are
going to repeat this course.

91
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,453
50% of my students fail.

92
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,221
Excuse me, Professor Hemmings?

93
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,190
Would that be the
half that are sitting

94
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,325
or the half that
are standing?

95
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,495
We'll find out, won't we?

96
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,200
Do you believe this
ethics assignment?

97
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,269
I haven't read this many
books in my whole life.

98
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,204
Well, I'm not gonna let
Hemmings get to me.

99
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,206
I have never gotten
less than a B in my life,

100
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,008
and I am not
about to start.

101
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,710
Well, I've got wrestling
practice and a job.

102
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,945
If I'm gonna study,

103
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,214
I better find someone to cover
for me at the student union.

104
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,382
You guys know anyone?

105
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,284
Ooh, I can do it.

106
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,921
No, can't think of anyone.

107
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,523
- Me neither.
- I'm drawing a blank.

108
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,593
Slater, didn't you hear me?
I said I can do it.

109
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,495
Kelly?

110
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,764
Hey, could you cover for me at
the student union, please?

111
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,299
Oh, I'm sorry, Slater.

112
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,301
Busing tables is such
an icky job.

113
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:38,071
Besides, I'm really busy at the health
center disposing of surgical waste.

114
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,973
Come on, Slater, please.

115
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,642
It's always been my lifelong
dream to don the proud uniform

116
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,678
of a food service worker.

117
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:49,049
Besides, we're talking about
busing tables, not brain surgery.

118
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,758
Whoops.
Sorry, Clara.

119
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,060
Guess I went in the
out door again.

120
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,931
That idiot isn't a permanent
employee, is he?

121
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,101
Clara, he's just filling in
for me for a couple days.

122
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,604
Thank goodness he's not
doing brain surgery.

123
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,774
Oh.

124
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,510
Whoops.
Wrong door again.

125
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,044
You know what's confusing me?

126
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:21,081
It's that one door says "In,"
and the other says, "Out."

127
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:25,085
You know, someone should
have a meeting about this.

128
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:28,655
Do that again, I'm sticking
your head in the microwave.

129
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,392
So, you studying for midterms?

130
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,361
Yeah.
We got a new professor.

131
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,296
His study load's impossible.

132
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:37,931
Ask for an extension.

133
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,600
Yeah, I don't think that would
work with this professor.

134
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,170
Listen, professors
are people too.

135
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,238
You don't have to be afraid of--

136
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,074
oh no.
It's Hemmings.

137
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,144
He's the only professor
to ever make me cry.

138
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,751
Excuse me, Dr. Hemmings?

139
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,019
I'm Alex Tabor.

140
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,887
I'm in your ethics class.

141
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,422
Mm, sorry.

142
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,224
I didn't recognize you.

143
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,592
Oh, this.

144
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,327
I just came from a pep rally.

145
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,696
I'm the school mascot.
I'm Freddy the Falcon.

146
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,065
Well, I'm glad that's the
case, because otherwise,

147
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,868
you'd just be some
lunatic in a bird suit.

148
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,205
I just came to ask you for an
extension on the midterm.

149
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,308
You would not believe the
demands on Freddy's time.

150
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,076
Well, you tell Freddy for me

151
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:26,713
that I once failed an entire
championship basketball team,

152
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,916
so you can imagine how I feel
about a cartoon bird.

153
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,085
Right, OK, thank you.

154
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,187
[cries]

155
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,493
Screech, you're
mushing the food.

156
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,363
You've gotta carry the
plates like this.

157
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,065
Hey, that's great, Kelly.

158
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,433
They go to table three.

159
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,235
Screech, I'm not gonna--

160
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:56,877
In the 18th century,
Immanuel Kant stated that

161
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:01,181
human beings have an innate
sense of an absolute moral law.

162
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:05,752
However, they don't always act
in accordance with this moral law,

163
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:09,055
but rather in accordance
with their own selfish needs.

164
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:13,393
Mr. Morris, can you name
Kant's theory?

165
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,062
No, I Kant.

166
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:24,104
The answer is the
categorical imperative.

167
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:27,440
I'm glad you find this
amusing, Mr. Morris.

168
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,876
Just remember, as
Reinhold Niebuhr said,

169
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,845
laughter is the
beginning of prayer,

170
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:36,449
and prayer is just about the only
hope you have of passing my midterm.

171
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,352
Good day.

172
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,759
Excuse me, Dr. Hemmings?

173
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,893
I'm Leslie Burke.

174
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,296
I'm having a very difficult
time with your class,

175
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,598
and I was wondering if
you'd have time to tutor me.

176
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,199
No.

177
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,269
Well, I'd work around
your schedule.

178
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,905
Any time you say, I'll make
myself available.

179
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,373
No.

180
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:01,908
Burke?

181
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,878
Ah, is your father Walter Burke?

182
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,246
Yes, sir.

183
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,681
Oh, I know him well.

184
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,684
He's a fine man and a generous
university contributor.

185
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,019
He and I play golf together
all the time.

186
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,689
Well, I'll tell Daddy
you said hello.

187
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,990
Please do.

188
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,459
So would you consider
tutoring me now?

189
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,027
No.

190
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,172
Oh, sir. Here, let
me help you with that.

191
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:36,509
You know, I've been meaning to tell
you how much I'm enjoying your class.

192
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,912
Somehow I Kant believe you.

193
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:42,349
Touché, sir, very droll.

194
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,018
Are you sucking up to me?

195
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,554
No, sir.
I'm just interested in ethics.

196
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:50,890
Oh, well then why don't
you trot over to the library

197
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:55,495
and read "Foundations
of Practical Ethics" by me?

198
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,198
Good day.

199
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,632
Good day.

200
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,771
Uh, sir?

201
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,243
He dropped the midterm.

202
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:14,247
Now, this brings up a very
interesting ethical question.

203
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,450
Do I give the
test to my friends,

204
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,986
or do I sell the test
to my friends?

205
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,828
Hey, Mike.

206
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,431
Oh, hi, Mr. Rogers.
How may I serve you?

207
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,534
Ah, I'd like I bacon, lettuce,
and tomato on wheat,

208
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,169
extra lettuce, no mayonnaise.

209
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,305
Got it, (SLOWLY) bacon.

210
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,641
What was the rest?

211
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,411
Could you hurry it up, please?

212
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,146
Screech, you don't
write it all down.

213
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,914
Here, let me show you.

214
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:51,351
Clara, give me a BLT on wheat,
extra L, no mayo.

215
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,454
- Got it.
- Hey, you're pretty good.

216
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:58,291
I would like a chicken
sandwich, plain, on a toasted roll.

217
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,692
Oh, I got this, Mike.

218
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:03,396
Clara? I need a naked
chick with hot buns.

219
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,236
Screech, that is sexual
harassment.

220
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,841
Clara, Screech couldn't
sexually harass himself.

221
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,744
Thanks, Mike.

222
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,016
I don't believe you.

223
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,618
You killed Hemmings
and stole the midterm?

224
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,488
I'm not very good at this class,
Zack, but I think that's unethical.

225
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:31,291
The test fell out of
Hemmings' briefcase.

226
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:35,462
So, should we look at it or not?

227
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,664
I'm not sure.

228
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,766
Give me a second to
think this over.

229
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,736
I mean, what's the worst that
would happen if I fail the test?

230
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,371
You couldn't wrestle.

231
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,408
Right, and if I can't wrestle,

232
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,376
we could start losing matches.

233
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:54,347
If we lose, the alumni could
stop donating money.

234
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,383
The whole university
could collapse.

235
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,986
Hundreds of professors
would be out of work,

236
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,155
including Professor Hemmings.

237
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,859
Don't you see?
I have to cheat for him.

238
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,162
You're good.

239
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:13,766
All I could think of was, if I
fail, my mom will yell at me.

240
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,369
But you gotta remember,
this is serious stuff.

241
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:17,837
All right?
We can't tell anyone.

242
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,272
- Agreed?
- Agreed.

243
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,673
OK.

244
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,776
Hey, Alex?

245
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,178
- Guess what?
- What?

246
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,779
Zack's got the ethics test.

247
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,182
Oh, way to keep a secret.

248
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,184
Why don't you just
go on "Geraldo"?

249
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,553
You've got a copy of the test?

250
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,255
All right, all right.

251
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,823
You can see it.

252
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,460
I don't want to see it.
I will not be a party to this.

253
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,428
Fine, you're not invited
to this party.

254
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,063
Give us the test back.

255
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,833
No, I won't let you do it.
It's wrong.

256
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,369
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Whoa, whoa, you can't do that.

257
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,771
Would you rather I tell
Professor Hemmings?

258
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,673
I guess you can do that.

259
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,544
Someday you'll thank
me for this.

260
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,981
I said, someday you'll
thank me for this.

261
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,517
(TOGETHER RELUCTANTLY)
Thank you, Leslie.

262
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:06,719
Good.

263
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,821
Now I'm gonna go study.

264
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,328
I think I'd better take
this to the dumpster.

265
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,032
(TOGETHER RELUCTANTLY)
Thank you, Leslie.

266
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,872
So would you like some
fries with that?

267
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,143
Six years of college and
I actually said that.

268
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,012
Kelly? Kelly, the
manager's on her way.

269
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,314
What'll I do?

270
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,549
Stand in one place and
don't touch anything.

271
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,017
Right.

272
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:39,919
Screech?

273
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,355
When Slater recommended you,

274
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,424
I have to admit I
had my reservations.

275
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,193
After all, I've seen
you eat here.

276
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,831
But several students have told me
how good the service has been lately.

277
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,800
Well, I've had a little help.

278
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,401
I know a good thing
when I see it.

279
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,671
I'm promoting you to
assistant manager.

280
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,344
Assistant manager.

281
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,647
I'm assistant manager, and
I owe it all to you guys.

282
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,917
There will be a big thank-you note in
each of your pay envelopes this week.

283
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,152
We don't get paid.

284
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:17,290
Oh, well then there will just
be a big thank-you note.

285
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,508
Whoa.

286
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,828
Ouch.

287
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,099
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing?

288
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,367
Look, I--

289
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:04,304
Uh, I couldn't sleep so I
decided to go for a stroll.

290
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,208
Oh, yes, the dumpsters are so
peaceful and calming this time of night.

291
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,544
Look, we're obviously here
for the same reason.

292
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,246
Now, just look for the test.

293
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,881
OK.

294
00:15:16,643 --> 00:15:19,312
Hey, look.
Look, I found a piece.

295
00:15:19,372 --> 00:15:20,973
- Ooh.
- Questions 8 through 12.

296
00:15:20,998 --> 00:15:23,267
Great, great. Well, that means the
other piece must be around here too.

297
00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:24,822
- Yeah.
- So come on, keep looking.

298
00:15:24,902 --> 00:15:26,526
Hey, guys. Someone's coming.
Dive, dive.

299
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,127
- Dive.
- Dive.

300
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,075
[screams]

301
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,776
It's me, Alex.

302
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,646
Oh, please don't tell anybody
that you saw me down here.

303
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,314
- OK.
- OK.

304
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:53,086
Leslie, I can't believe you of
all people would be down here

305
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,787
after all you said
about cheating.

306
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,390
Well, Hemmings is being
so unreasonable.

307
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,225
It's almost like he's
forcing me to cheat,

308
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:00,854
and I don't care
who knows it.

309
00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:02,395
- That's terrible.
- Somebody's coming.

310
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,830
Hide.

311
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:09,135
(SINGING) ♪ <i>Sunny days, sweeping
the clouds away</i> ♪

312
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:15,508
♪ <i>On my way to where
the air is sweet</i> ♪

313
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,479
[hums]

314
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,125
You know, something
just struck me.

315
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:35,294
Yeah, me too, and it's starting
to run down my neck.

316
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,399
I'm talking about what we're
doing here, this whole cheating thing.

317
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,434
We're stooping about
as low as you can.

318
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,202
What makes you say that?

319
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,204
Well, we're neck high
in garbage, Alex.

320
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,974
You don't have to be a genius
to figure out the symbolism here.

321
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,476
Hey, I found it, guys.
I think I found it.

322
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,544
Look.

323
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:53,579
- That's it.
- Yeah.

324
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,506
- We have the whole test.
- Isn't that great?

325
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,017
Yeah, really great.

326
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:13,833
<i>Buenos días,</i> and
welcome to Fiesta Day.

327
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,169
<i>Hasta luego.</i>

328
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,404
Come again and bring an <i>amigo.</i>

329
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,474
Screech, look.

330
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,076
I'm not getting paid,
and even if I was,

331
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,309
you couldn't pay me
enough to wear this goofy hat.

332
00:17:27,387 --> 00:17:29,682
Hey, no sombrero, no jobbo.

333
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,117
You're fired.

334
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,419
And you're insane.

335
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:37,023
Well, there goes your letter
of recommendation, honey.

336
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,227
Screech, why is that burro
tied to the bike rack?

337
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,196
Oh, it's advertising.

338
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:47,934
It says, something
special's happening inside.

339
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,837
Well, something special's
happening outside too.

340
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,105
I think I just stepped in it.

341
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,209
Hey, <i>el pollo loco.</i>

342
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,343
We quit.

343
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,212
Well, fine, then turn
in your sombrero.

344
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,147
No, I'm keeping the sombrero.

345
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,782
I kinda like it.

346
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,153
How is Fiesta Day going?

347
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:11,791
Well, I have no customers, no
employees and no friends.

348
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,459
All I have is this--

349
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,429
oh no, there goes the burro.

350
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,565
This is a disaster.
You're the assistant manager.

351
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,434
What are you gonna
do about this?

352
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,469
There's only one thing to do.

353
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,937
I'm fired.

354
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,772
Now, if you'll excuse me,

355
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,675
I have to go get the burro back
before the petting zoo misses him.

356
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,411
Pepe, Pepe?

357
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,099
Good morning, ladies
and gentlemen.

358
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,234
In case you've forgotten,

359
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,504
today is the day
you take your midterm.

360
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,707
I can promise you one thing,

361
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,977
this is one test
you'll never forget.

362
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,279
What?

363
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,415
So you mean all that we've been through,
we're not going to have a test now?

364
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,717
Well, in a way, you've
already had it.

365
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:15,187
You see, this past week
I strategically placed

366
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,423
copies of this test
all over the campus

367
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,359
so that each of you would have
an opportunity to see it.

368
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,964
The real test was whether or
not you chose to cheat.

369
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,333
So what you're trying to
say is you set us up?

370
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,701
Yes.

371
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,038
Perhaps now, you can do
what you should have done

372
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,940
when I first came
into this class,

373
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,942
have a real
discussion of ethics.

374
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,978
Mr. Slater, let us
begin with you.

375
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,247
How would you grade yourself

376
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,683
on the little
test I just gave you?

377
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:44,884
The truth?

378
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,519
If you don't mind.

379
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,722
Well, I only looked at
enough answers to pass

380
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,757
so I can stay
on the wrestling team.

381
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,027
So I'd give myself a C.

382
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:59,098
You sure you're not just
rationalizing, Mr. Slater.

383
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:00,866
Yeah, you're right.

384
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:05,137
I don't deserve a C.
How about a C-?

385
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,240
What about you, young lady?

386
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,142
Well, I didn't cheat, sir.

387
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,544
I was perfectly honest.

388
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,112
I deserve an A.

389
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,247
Really?

390
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,084
All right, all right.
I cheated.

391
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,019
I cheated and I lied.

392
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,090
I cheated and I lied and I
left the cap off the toothpaste!

393
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,362
I'm a horrible person.

394
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,999
Somebody else, please?
Anybody else?

395
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:36,535
Well, I always thought
it was easy to be ethical,

396
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,504
but when the pressure was on,

397
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,970
I jumped in the garbage
with everyone else.

398
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,242
I'd give myself an F.

399
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,312
Well, maybe you looked inside
yourself and you found something.

400
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,647
That's good.

401
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,348
That's ethics.

402
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,083
Thank you, sir.

403
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,686
And what about you,
Mr. Morris?

404
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:57,423
You always seem to be willing
to cut a few ethical corners.

405
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,125
Did you cheat?

406
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,760
I wanted to.

407
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,828
I mean, I really,
really wanted to,

408
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,231
but for some strange
reason, I didn't.

409
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:07,266
It's got me a little worried.

410
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,769
Well, don't worry.

411
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,337
It's called character.

412
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,640
Anyway, speaking of character,
what about you?

413
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,375
I mean, you tricked us.
You lied to us?

414
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,344
Wasn't your behavior unethical?

415
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,545
Perhaps.

416
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,782
On the one hand, I was
deceitful and manipulative.

417
00:21:22,895 --> 00:21:25,531
On the other hand,
I made you think.

418
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,654
But you do raise an
interesting point.

419
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,390
For that, maybe you
deserve an A.

420
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:32,958
Thank you, sir.

421
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,560
And you know something --

422
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,907
this is a really great class.

423
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,664
But remember,

424
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,266
just because you deserve an A

425
00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:42,001
doesn't mean
you're going to get one.

426
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,438
What?
But th-- that's not fair.

427
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:46,906
That's not-- ethical.

428
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,207
Isn't it?

429
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,975
Let's discuss that.

430
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:53,979
This guys some piece of work.

431
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:57,950
What about you?

432
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,119
I mean, you, you, uh-- shoot.

433
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,054
Uh, wh-- wait--

434
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,697
[laughter]

435
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:13,599
What about you?
I mean, you tricked us.

436
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,067
You lied to us.

437
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,736
Wasn't your behavior unethical?

438
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:18,070
Perhaps.

439
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:20,239
On the one hand, I was the--

440
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,511
on the other hand--
[laughs]

441
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:30,483
[theme music]

